Pregnancy can be both a wonderful and a daunting experience for any woman, whether they are on the autism spectrum or whether they are neurotypical.
I didn’t know that I was autistic when I was pregnant, but looking back I feel it did have an impact on my pregnancy. Anxiety was a constant companion throughout my pregnancy, but that was nothing unusual, the worries just changed.
I think I was quite lucky with my pregnancy, it was pretty much straight forward and I didn’t experience too many problems. I even carried on riding my bicycle to and from work until I went on maternity leave, I think being active helped keep problems away, as I worked in a factory running machines, I was on my feet all day.
Heightened Senses
It is a well-known fact that when a woman is pregnant, her senses become heightened. It’s a survival of the species kind of thing, a tool that was useful back in the “caveman” days but not particularly useful in this day and age, especially for someone who is Autistic and already has heightened senses and a sensory processing disorder.
Smell and morning sickness – I experienced morning sickness from around 6 weeks pregnant until the day my child was born. Smell, had a big part to play in that, strong smells such as bacon, fish, meat and my mums hyacinth plant would send me running to the bath room.
I ended up living on broadbeans, mainly because they were bland and didn’t have a smell, it was the one thing I was able to eat and keep down. I would come home from work and have a bowl full of Broadbeans for tea, needless to say, I lost weight while pregnant.
Hospitals – Hospitals are an assault on the senses, first off, you have the lighting, then the smell, the noise, and the number of people. I used to believe it was social anxiety that would cause my blood pressure to rise, but I feel there were also sensory processing problems that played a part, going by a recent visit to the hospital.
Every time they took my blood pressure in hospital it was really high, in the end, the midwife would visit me at home to take my blood pressure, to get a more accurate reading. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I did experience high blood pressure and had to take medication to control it.
Feeling the baby move – I loved feeling my baby move, although it was a weird sensation, I really missed it after she was born. When I was unable to sleep, I would talk to my bump and watch her react by her movements, she was more active at night than she was during the day. It helped to build a strong bond, it was our time alone in the quiet of the night.
I know some autistic pregnant women find it uncomfortable when the baby moves, but it was a comfort for me.
Labour and Birth
Pain is weird, when touched I experience high levels of pain, much more than the level of pressure used, warrants. But, when the contractions began, they were not that painful. The pain would spread across my stomach and shoot down my leg, which was something I was not expecting and had not prepared myself for.
The pain levels did increase, but nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, I was given pethidine which made me feel really tired and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I could only keep my eyes open during a contraction. I did have an epidural, but it wasn’t so much for the pain, the consultant said that it was best I had one due to being over weight and if there was a problem and I needed a caesarian I would already be ready to go and not struggle to put in an epidural if there was an emergency.
To be honest, gallstone pain is 20x worse than labour pain, in my opinion. When I had gallstones it was the worst pain I had ever experienced and I could hardly move. Even the pain after surgery to remove my gallbladder was worse than the labour pain I experienced. I have no idea whether that is normal or not, or whether the epidural worked before the pain of labour reached normal levels.
I ended up with forceps delivery and requiring stitches.
The cord was wrapped around my baby’s neck when she was born, which was a scary moment, but she turned out to be ok. She had a cut on the top of her head from the forceps as well. But the instant she was placed in my arms the anxiety and birth experience melted away.
I missed being pregnant for many many weeks after my baby was born, whether that was down to change and getting used to not being pregnant anymore, I am unsure. It was a really weird feeling to have, I missed the kicks and tiny movements, even the hiccups my baby would have frequently towards the end of pregnancy.
Breast feeding
Breast feeding was not something I got to experience with my baby; for some unknown reason, I didn’t produce any milk. The midwife kept telling me to keep trying, that it would come in eventually, but it didn’t answer I had to admit defeat. I remember feeling so disappointed as I wanted my baby to have the best start and every piece of information you get given tells you breast feeding ensures that. I felt a bit of a failure if im honest.
But, my daughter thrived on being formula fed. She, was such a content baby too.
From talking to other autistic mums, breast feeding can cause sensory problems, so it isn’t for everyone. Never feel pressured to continue if it does cause sensory discomfort.
Sleepless nights
During Pregnancy – I had chronic heartburn during the last few months, medication hardly touched it, and it caused many a sleepless night. There were times when I had to sleep sitting up, just to reduce some of the exhaustion.
After Birth – I didn’t mind the sleepless nights, I struggle to sleep a lot of the time anyway, and now I had my baby to keep me company. It was our quiet time, time alone, I would talk away to her and read to her until she was ready to fall to sleep.
Becoming a Mum
I was a step-mum long before I became a mum, I would be lying if I said there haven’t been any challenges. But, I love being a mum, I feel that being a mum was something I was born to do.
Seeing the world through my daughter’s eyes has been a magical experience, each time she saw something new and had new experiences, the look of wonder and interest on her face was beautiful to watch. It reminded me how wonderful the world can be, despite its problems and hardships and challenges, magic and beauty really exists.
Autism does cause pregnancy and motherhood to be different than it is for neurotypicals, we think differently and experience the world differently. But, that doesn’t mean it is negative, in fact, there are so many positives from being an autistic mum. I certainly wouldn’t change it.
If you would like to read more, please click the following link:
Autism and Mental Health 